7/1/2006
I do recall that one of the dreams that I had was that I was to charge aspecific amount for the weekend seminar with several discounts and ultimately they would be paying another amount
Last night I had a dream and I don’t remember it – it was full of action and things going on – very “busy”
7/2/2006
Dream last night had to do with having powers and answers – don’t really remember enough of it to have a handle on it’s meaning…
7/3/2006
I’m not sure what is going on with my dreams – unless it’s that I want to take the easy way out to get answers and “just” use them. It would probably work as long as I wasn’t afraid of getting answers other ways. It seems like I don’t want to look at the answers that other people have because someone might think that I’m “copying” them. Someone had said that too me too – something about not reading Byron Katies work until I’ve been doing this for a while… As long as I’m afraid of where the answers come from why should I have any???
7/4/2006
Dream last night – PW and Mel are talking and PW and I get into a big argument about how to do things and how to see things and I am not letting him “just talk” to Melanie – I’m upset that it comes across as business as usual.
7/7/2006
Dream last night I’m at Jackie’s and there are people with her – they are around her bed the conversation is about the fact that her eyes are bandaged and she is talking about being able to feel how some dead guy is feeling she can feel his heart beat and the blood running through her veins – then everyone is leaving the room and it’s as if I just get there and they all leave the next thing is that I’m going to work and I’m a nurse and I go to take a bath I just want to be alone and fix my eyes to rest them and I’m running the water while I’m in the tub and there are other women there and one of them comes to the tub and starts cleaning off her cutting board with her food on it in my bath and then another comes and starts to dump something in there and they aren’t listening to me when I tell them not to do that so I get out of the tub and put on a robe and start to sort of dump their stuff back on them and all it does is make them mad and they are trying to fight with me. At first I’m just dumping ice water one them and the like but after that they are in my face and I break their wrist it isn’t like there is a lot of fighting really it’s more insidious than that really; then one of them is smoking a cigarette and tells me that she is going to burn me if I don’t leave her alone. I have my hand on her face where my fingernails are on the bridge if her nose against the edge of her right eye and she sticks her cigarette under my robe and at first I’m afraid of how it’s going to feel then I don’t care and I don’t feel anything it doesn’t even affect me ……. There is another part before I am disturbed in the tub where I can see a number of them and they re are several that are eating some kind of paste wax out of a tube and I can’t understand why they are doing that to themselves …….
There is something about them dumping their stuff on me and I don’t want to say anything, then I’m giving there stuff back to them and it’s just making them mad…………so I’m methodically disarming them and when they threaten to hurt me I’m afraid at first and I find that it doesn’t even affect me…….
I think it all has to do with realizing that I have to trust what I see and feel inside of myself and then be willing to “hurt” them as it were, to get them to hear or see what I’m saying. My challenge is to do it from love always and never from fear or in retaliation of pain
7/9/2006
Dream last night – I’m in a room with other women – one’s even pregnant – and there’s some kind of disagreement – something about Jesus leaving – and I don’t want to talk about it – so one of the women starts to walk out and I start talking because I’d rather risk talking about it than have her leave – and I said to them that it was more like Christ said there will always be two to take his place when he leaves us here – the Holy Ghost on the inside and at the people around us.
This is kind of like the tree falling in the woods – if we can’t see (recognize) love around us because of what is inside of us – does that mean that if we don’t see it we don’t have it on the inside? That one feels like a paradox or a judgment call since I’ve never “not” seen it ….
“…be willing to hurt them as it were” I just reread that from the other day and I think that is part of my challenge – it isn’t about “hurting” them which is how I perceive it – it IS about stirring things up – causing discomfort – and in my mind discomfort is hurt.
7/11/2006
Dream last night – I’m with a bunch of friends in some kind of hotel – near the ocean and it starts raining. The next thing I know it’s flooding and the waves are hitting the doors – we can see the water coming in on the lower atrium levels and trying to figure out if anyone is down there getting washed away. The water keeps rising and there are all kind of snakes everywhere. Some I can’t see below the water surface – two of them get inside of me – the bigger one goes in on my left front side just between the bottom two ribs. The other one goes in on my left thigh just above the knee cap. The next thing I remember is that I managed to break them off but not until a significant amount of their body in inside me. Then the waters subside and there are a lot of people around coming back into the buildings in some kind of snake line – like one person is holding the next person’s feet and they all seem to be slithering back into the building – there are a couple of guys that appear to be characters similar to those out of a Jamaican area and then there is this blonde model type – I’m freaking out at the way it looks trying to stay out of their way because I’m in some kind of hall or narrow passage way as they come through – I’m asking them what they are doing… – more like accusing them of doing something wrong when the blonde goes by. She’s the last one in the line and they stop and she looks at me like I’m some kind of moron and sits up and shows me this unit that she has strapped to her stomach – it creates a stream of water that that they were riding on – kind of like body surfing – and all they had to do was hold on to each other to stay afloat and get back to the building. I didn’t say anything – there’s something about the fact that it’s still too much like a snake – I know they aren’t but I’m afraid. Then there is this guy that offers to pull the one that’s left in my side out – there’s like an inch or two that is sticking out of my skin and it’s all withered – like dry bamboo. I don’t know how we’re going to get the other one out because it’s flush with the skin and we can’t dig it out since so much of it is inside. I’m supposed to get on this table and lay down so that he can use a pair of locking pliers to grasp and pull the other one out but I’m afraid because there is so much of it in there – I’m afraid of how it will feel as well as what if it doesn’t all come out – that piece is the only hope of getting to all of it. I take a step back away from the table and there is someone behind me and I step on his shoe realizing that I can’t back up any further and that’s when I wake up.
This one is all about getting to the heart of things and knowing that I have to “go through it” before I can get to the other side of the lesson if you will. With the speakers boot camp coming up there is a lot of stuff that we’ll be doing that have to do with improve and that relates to really being present and connected with the audience. I am not looking forward to it!
7/13/2006
Dream last night – I don’t remember much but it had a lot of people in a room milling about and talking to one another – seems like they were dressed in evening wear
7/17/2006
Dream last night has something again to do with a room full of people it feels like I’m dressed in a white evening gown and drinking champagne – just a lot of people in the room – and I am not readily recalling anything else
7/19/2006
Dream last night in a big house and lots of rooms and beds for people to stay – there are people that come over and they don’t know what they are going to do for because it’s .. late? And then I take them around and show them that there is a lot of space where they can be comfortable it’s a very cool house with a loft, an attic, lots of unused space – kind of like I would imagine some ski lodge in the summer. At some point I am in a car with someone else driving and … it’s inside? Then we come to this area where it’s like a doorway and the guy driving is going to go through but I keep trying to tell him not to and he does anyway – as we drive through the area is almost like some rickety old shaft and we start to fall – everyone is really afraid and I can even hear the people staying with us yelling. The next thing that I know is that we hit bottom and the car is no longer drivable but we can all walk so we get out of the car and walk forward and there is an opening and we walk out – and we’re on a hillside. We sit down to rest – thankful that we’re all ok and we see the house – not that far away so we begin to walk back. That’s when I wake up to the phone ringing.
This feels like it’s about having a lot of people around again – lot’s of the dreams are that way lately and I’m not sure where it’s going or coming from as well as the fact that no matter what happens it’s still recoverable. Things are going ok – but it’s a bit before all of the pieces come together.
7/25/06
This time I’m in some kind of gold ball gown talking with a lot of people…….
I am not sure about the meaning of these dreams that have to do with talking to all of these people but I loved the look of the gown! I just wish I could draw 
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