As we embark on this journey that holds the promise of insights, secrets and tantalizing details it’s important to understand that I have always had a deep trust in the power of God. I’ve always known that God was there. I’ve always know that things would turn out OK in the end.
What I have doubted is the “rightness of now” if you will. The knowing that this moment is perfect or “as it should be” has been called into question again and again. I have met those who tell me “I’m not afraid of anything”. I now know it was a mirror of my profuse declaration that “I’m not angry”. I don’t get angry. In the end it is all the same. It’s a way of hiding. Using the “I’m not…” is nothing more than a belief that these words will actually work as some kind of self protection.
I’ve been talking about writing this book for over a year now – and to those of you who said “I can’t wait – let me know as soon as you’re done” thank you for believing in me! I have more empathy for authors who write a series of books and all of a sudden the "next installment" is so long in materializing.
There was more of the journey to complete before this could be penned.
I didn’t think it would be this hard. I mean the last book took me a couple of months to write from the time I started until it was “finished” and I thought that was how it was supposed to be for me.
Sure there were times when I hated it – I didn’t want to write in the first place. Or I didn’t think I did. But that is for later. I recall Jack saying, “It ONLY took you 8 weeks to write this. I’ve been working on mine for four years!” Like I was doing something “wrong”? He was the one that told me I needed a book in the first place and that my keynote speech “wasn’t”. It was more like a seminar or workshop so I might as well write "the book of it".
Then the inspiration hit to write about something that was such an AH-HA for me. Share my experience in the transformation within the confines of my relationship with my husband and the boudoir.
How many married women know what it means to “fake it till you make it” in the bedroom?
How many married women never get to that “make it” part?
I can’t tell you how many women believe that their husbands don’t know that they are faking it. I thought so. But you can’t hide that … not really.
Sex had changed so drastically for me that I wanted to write about it, about the possibilities, the incredible fulfillment and release when a woman brings all of her “self” to that most intimate relationship.
Then I started taking a look at the “parts”. The sex itself. I mean doesn’t it start there? The foreplay, the copulation, the orgasm. And it all stopped.
Nothing.
In fact, making love, started to become “just sex” again as I tried to dissect it. Oh there was still a major difference; I could have an orgasm with just being with my husband. I didn’t need any of the external toys. But it was loosing something.
So I told myself that maybe this book just was a “BSO” (bright shiny object) or distraction as my friend Melanie likes to call things that deter us from completing a project.
I let go of the vision and once again, turned my thoughts – my energy, to what I thought would be a profitable venture. I have spent the last 8 months creating a company.
It finally hit me when I was working on a big dream vision and had so many “buts’” that I was asking and helping others to find their passion while I was very carefully avoiding mine.
While I was beginning to see results – it still was one-off, if you will, from the peace of being in complete alignment with who I am.
Sexual Freedom exists when you, I, or anyone for that matter, is truly FREE. When we are empowered to face the fears, to laugh at our so called weaknesses and be present.
Freedom happens when we acknowledge, somewhere deep down inside, that NOW is all that we have. It’s ALL that matters. It’s the ability to know that if I left this earth this very moment I will have lived a full life and made the most of every moment.
Freedom is not wishing that I had done _____ yesterday or last week or last year, or even ten years ago. It’s letting go of the “if only” energy. It’s dropping the “tomorrow” or “someday” I’ll syndrome. That Someday Isle only exists in our imaginations.
We get hung up in the fear or recrimination or guilt of what we didn’t do. Little things like sending our kids off to school without saying, “I love you” as they walk out the door, going to bed upset with your spouse. It’s the frustration with ourselves when we don’t listen to the small voice that says “you can do this” and then putting our innermost dreams upon some shelf that gets in the way of “now”.
So this book is all of this together. It’s looking inside and embracing to the ability to be present and enjoy the now. It is about acknowledging and quieting the committee. Those voices in your head, which tell you, “you should have done…”, “why did/didn’t you…”… you get the idea.
It is being OK with the “why me” and “poor me” self-talk. Letting go of the good/bad, right/wrong language of others.
It’s asking the intimate questions and ultimately knowing the truth in the statement, “This too shall pass.”
You’ll find enlightenment here – or you won’t. It’ll be your choice. And you’ll agree with me or you won’t. I know that too. There have been times when I didn’t agree with me!
Whatever your choice, I wish you well. I wish for you all of the Freedom you can possibly embrace.
Thank you for being part of my journey.
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